Sink or Swim

CALLING ALL microfictionados!
Welcome to another fun-loving chapter of

microfiction Monday,

sponsored by our hostess with the mostess Miss Susan at Stony River, where the good-natured pandemonium is all about a picture painting a betweenable 140 characters, or even fewer! (For more flash tale fun and frolic, click the side-barring mM button-->)

THIS WEEK’S IMAGE
and MY STORY:

BAYWATCHING just wasn’t the same now that The Hoff had moved on to greener pastures. –-84 characters

ONE WORD: Sunk!

David Hasselhoff (l) and pro Kym Johnson, who warned: “Don’t try this at home!”

AFTERWARD: My imagination sparks had already flown, when, much to my chagrinny, the take-the-wind-out-of-SparkleFarkle’s-microfiction Monday-sails Dancing With The Stars elimination round aired last Tuesday. (NOTE TO DWTS NON-BELIEVERS: Dave took the first hook.) SO. Does that reduce my this week’s microfiction Monday installment to a Hassle Hoff, a Hassel Off, OR a Hasselhoff Off? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

I think I need a drink, how ‘bout youly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, ZuZu, and David Hasselhoff’s dance career.

P.S. WITH BOO-BOOS on the mend, I thank you for your kind be well wishes!

Intermission

Hi! This is Puppet, SparkleFarkle’s daughter. Mom asked me to let you know she’s sorry, but she and Jack Handey are no-shows this week. Earlier tonight, Mom unexpectedly turned human cannon ball on her way down from upstairs. Fortunately, this sudden metamorphosis didn’t take effect until the third to the last step, so no head half-open or any broken bones to report. Totally grape pretty much covers it, though.

Thanks! I’m sure you’ll be hearing from her again real soon. Although we’ve got her duct taped to the couch so she’ll rest, knowing Mom, she’ll probably chew through that in no time.

Puppet

Star of ‘Commercials You Love to Hate’ Pushes the Envelope

Dr. Scholl’s Massaging Inserts promise much
more than Dual-gel for softness and purple for support.

CALLING ALL microfictionados!
Welcome to another fun-loving chapter of

microfiction Monday

sponsored by our hostess with the mostess Miss Susan at Stony River, where the good-natured pandemonium is all about a picture painting a betweenable 140 characters or even fewer! (For more flash tale fun and frolic, click the side-barring mM button-->)
　

Here’s
THIS WEEK’S IMAGE

and MY STORY:

AGAINST ALL ODDS, Bo proved "them" wrong: "I'm sooooo gellin'" was indeed a very good pickup line. "Dr. Scholls also make me taller!" winked Bo. –144 characters

UH-HUH. Adding-Inches-to-His-"Manhood" Bo definitely would give a whole new dimension to his self-proclaimed title:

TWO WORDS:

Sole Man

(STAR OF Commercials You Love to Hate "Fun Facts": Little known ex-Beatle Bo could have had it made in the shade if he hadn’t pushed so hard for his misspelt musical vision version.)

Rubber Soul
is often cited as one of the
greatest albums in pop music history.

Yes, sometimes I actually DO make myself sick-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, ZuZu, John, George, and Bo’s career in the Music Industry.

Image Credit: Retro ad originally downloaded at CreativePro.com

Strong to the Finish, But At What Price?

“I BET ONE legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.” –Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY, all!

LONG AGO and way far back from now, I was growing up Catholic. That meant --under the Divine direction of the Baby Jesus-– Pope John XXIII, all the nuns at the parochial school I attended (especially Sister Louis De Montfort), the ever-Brylcreemed, Juicy Fruit-chewing parish priest, Father Moran (You can probably guess what us kids would dare to call him only in our heads. <–- A thought that surely would have taken us directly to Hell, if we had uttered it out loud, which is truly what we were convinced of at the time. But hey, it would have been worth the trip!), my mother (or any adults in my path, for that matter) had an obligation to teach us to “NOT question anything” (OR ELSE!).

SINCE flame retardants weren’t offered after weekly Confession, we had no choice but to heed The Word and “believe” everything. As for me, I told myself, "No one ever said you couldn’t quietly wonder to yourself..." So, I did. CONSTANTLY. About everything. Including the stuff NOT so Holy Holy Holy. And some of it, one thing in particular today, I still wonder about:

What the heck was up with

A scene from "Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor"

Popeye’s arms?!

What made his body decide to wear

his bulging biceps disproportionately at his wrists?
You can’t tell me it was the spinach.

AND FURTHERMORE,

(Somewhere down his road, Popeye was dealt "new"cards: versions of the character had both eyes, with one of them merely being squinty, or "squinky" as he put it.)

why were Popeye’s displaced muscles so attractive to Olive Oyl? Plus YIKES! When her girlfriend told her who she’d set her up with and that the guy indeed was living up to every inch of his name (having lost his right eye in “the mos’ arful battle” of his life, he would later explain) AND talked in a creepy, old-man-with-loose-gravel-rattling-around-in-his-mouth voice that pronounced Ts like Ks, and lacked a major amount of good grammar, to boot, WHAT IN THE WORLD POSSESSED MISS OYL TO AGREE TO BLIND DATE POPEYE?!

THREE WORDS:

I. WANT. ANSWERS.

Blow me downly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.

Hey, Babes, Take a Walk On the Wild Side

WELCOME, my little Microfictionados,
to another fun-loving chapter of

Microfiction Monday,

sponsored by our hostess with the mostess Miss Susan at Stony River, where the good-natured pandemonium is all about a picture painting a betweenable 140 characters or even fewer! (For more flashtale frolic, scroll down a smitch and click the side-barring MM button-->)

Here’s
THIS WEEK’S IMAGE
and MY STORY:

(FIRST THINGS FIRST ABOUT THIS PICTURE, Susan says: “Before my Mom died, she gave me all the negatives of her family photographs, because my older sister got the photo albums. I'm finally getting mine scanned, and believe these are Mom's friends Doris and Rainie. I'm not sure how they managed to get across that lawn in high heels, but in my experience the women of that generation could do all sorts of amazing things.”)

DORIS AND RAINIE: much more than fingers through the Yellow Pages. Not only did they cross the lawn in high heels, but they chewed gum at the same time. –152 characters (Oop! Is that over the Microfiction speed limit? Sorry!)

THREE WORDS:

“Doris and Rainie”!

(Two names, when coupled, are synonymous with

“has a nice ring,”
dontcha think?!)

BY THE BY-LY: hold all my calls; I’m taking the day off-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

P.S. Doris also played a mean harmonica,
and man, could Rainie hambone!
Three martinis apiece saw to that.

Image Credit: Walking fingies: Versa Creations

Hooters: It’s a Good Thing!

HAPPY
Jack Handey
nearly FRIDAY!

"THERE’S ALWAYS a good explanation for everything. When that owl attacked Grandma and started biting her head, at first it didn’t make any sense. Why would an owl attack Grandma? But then we found out later: a mouse was living in her hairdo." –Jack Handey

Another "JR Cringe Moment" borrowed from the pages of My Personal Collection of Julia Roberts Cringe Moments: Julia Roberts took her kids to the set (Duplicity, 2009) on the day she had her love scenes with Clive Owen! (!Rats! Where’s that Mother of the Year Award when I want to present it???)
Give. Me. A. Break.

HERE’S A LITTLE SOMETHING I don’t treat you to often enough, and that of which I drive my family completely nuts with each and every time a new movie trailer is the TV commercial, whether or not I've already seen it and even if I’ve said it once or a thousand times before in a brief statement that is subject to change for any number of reasons, depending on thoughtfulness, my mood, or if I am just feeling down right attacky that day –especially when it’s a Julia Roberts movie. *growls at, in my estimation, the incredibly overrated*:

The High-Falutin'est, Fastest Shootin'est Quick Draw McSparkleFarkle Spontaneous, Unsolicited, Not-Yet-Playing-at-Theater-Near-You-Movie Review Based on Previews Alone

TODAY'S NEW FLICK PICK:

Legend of the Guardians:
The Owls of Ga'Hoole
(Scheduled release date: September 24, 2010 - TRAILER <–"click")

*donning favourite Drew Barrymore costume, instantly becomes wildly effervescent in order to correctly utter *

ONE WORD:

Magical!
(Further regarding words, this time, out of the mouth of babes – in particular, Tina Fey’s daughter Alice’s: "I want to go to there!")

*revs up Wayback Machine’s engine and steps on the gas*

REMEMBER Quick Draw McGraw’s sweet, treat-addicted pal, Snuffles, who would help the bumbling horse sheriff and Baba-Looey in keeping the town free of wrongdoers only after being awarded a dog biscuit? God, how I loved it when, after he’d been given the pooch cookie, Snuffles would moan in joy, hug himself, float up into the air and slowly return to the ground in total ecstasy! *sighs dreamily* I do that exact same thing after eating

a cruller...!

*dittos the dreamy sigh*
　
Yippee yi-o ki-a!
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.
Image Credit: head owl originally downloaded at CakeHeadLovesEvil

Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb

IT’S THAT

time,
again!

WELCOME TO another
fun-loving chapter of

Microfiction Monday,

sponsored by our hostess with the mostess Miss Susan at Stony River, where the good-natured pandemonium is all about a picture painting a betweenable 140 characters or even fewer! (For more frolic, click the side-barring MM button-->)

Here’s
THIS WEEK’S IMAGE
and MY STORY:

TAMING BIG BOY'S curl was proving to be more treacherous than Dave had first anticipated. –89 characters

FIVE WORDS:

A little dab’ll do ya!

ARE YOU UP for doubling your pleasure? A fringe benefit, if you will, because this blog is also about me missing my deadline (Sorry!) and making it up to you. (I thought hair-related Handeyspeak might be fun! Are you "in"? Great!):

HAPPY BELATED
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

“IF YOU WEAR a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while? Come on, we're not going to hurt it." –Jack Handey

Here’s hoping this week brings you locks of fun-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest peacefully, Molly and ZuZu.