WELCOME TO the happily-hosted-by-Grandma’s-Goulash Succinctly Yours, a perfectly wonderful meme that picks up where our dearly ♥ departed Microfiction Monday left off by asking the burning question:
How low can you go? PRELUDE TO A SUCCINCTLY YOURS INSTALLMENT: This week's image reminds me of an incredible (Heck, I'd even go as far as to say
amaizing!)
life-chapter a friend once shared with me about his grandmother, whom he was “lucky” enough to have living with him and his family when he was a kid.
SINCE BOTH OF his parents worked, it was a house rule that Tom and his sister, Teresa, had to announce their arrival home from school (or wherever), to the next-in-charge: Grandma Dorn, an extremely uneven-faced (<--No kidding, I guess "YIKES!" hardly covered it.), LARGE-hearted ♥, really, really old woman (<--"Nearly a fossil," so says Tommyboy. And I believe him, because a liar he is not. In fact, Tom has also told me how, many times back in the day, he would have to "kindly" offer to "lop off" any body part belonging to his grandmother, thusly conveniencing all skeptics who might want to "count her rings," which he claimed numbered "to infinity and beyond and, yeah, probably back again, too."), who was also asdeaf as she was old.
SO, NO MATTER what, the kids had to let out a BIG “We’re home, Grandma Dorn!” as soon as the screen door slammed behind them (OR ELSE!) to let their ♥ loving caretaker know that they were "in," even though Tom and his sister were pretty sure their gram could barely hear them, if she did at all. However, Grandma Dorn most certainly felt the house move a smitch whenever the "screen" thundered.
ONE DAY, the two sibs, both now in their late teens and coming home from having just paid an after-schoolly, very intoxicating visit to a friend's house--as well as that friend's away-parent's (Voilà!-->) unlocked-with-a-bobby-pin liquor cabinet--thought they had their drunk-laughing selves composed enough to make it through the screen door without giving themselves completely away. (<--Whoa! Some kind of weird, long sentence, eh?) SO, THEY DID.
"SLAM!" went the door.
"Tommy? Tressie? Is that you, kids?" high-voice squeaked their unseen grandmother, apparently (and fortunately for Tom and Teresa) none the wiser. An ultra-tipsy Tom, giving his giggle-stifling sister a nod, <--a signal to her that he indeed had it all under control, proceeded to herald the both of them "in":
(HERE’S
November 21st’s picture
AND my story:)
"We're bone, Can of Corn!" --22 characters
Bada bing, bada boomly yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*
Rest in peace, my Mollo, ZuZu, and Can of Corn Grandma Dorn.
7 comments:
Once again, you have exceeded all my hopes, Sparkle. "Can of Corn" is wonderful.
Giggling,
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel
Hey Sparkle ~~ I just noticed that the pilgrim fellow is carrying two ears of corn. Will he plant them or will he and his Mrs. have a corn feast? (You know they didn't have cans of corn back in the pilgrim days.)
Items:
♥The kids were lucky to have a deaf grandmother.
♥I've heard of French cut green beans but not French cut corn?
♥You reminded me of the day we would rob my buddy's uncle of some wine out of his barrels. Put it in a fruit jar and go cruising.
Those were the days, my friend.
We thought they'd never end.
..
You had me all caught up in the story of your friends Tom and Tressie and then you super bear-trapped me with the shaggy dog story ending! I think this story should be added to the Compendium of Shaggy Dog Stories. Tres bonne!!!
A hilarious homage to dear Grandma Corn-Dorn!
:)
Hehehe...I bet Grandma had it covered, she just let them think they had pulled the wool over her eyes. Your microfiction cracked me up!
There's a lot of corn in that story, Sparkle. Sounds like quite a bit of corn malt as well.
You lead me right down the garden path with this story. Love that punch line.
LOL Funny!
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