So Make It One for My Baby...

(See how they glow?! Uh-huh, knowledge is power!!!)

"IF I EVER BECOME a mummy, I'm going to have it so when somebody opens my lid, a boxing glove on a spring shoots out. " --Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

WHILST I STILL have my head about me,

*"accidentally" tips breakfast box of White Zin,
waaay-ahead jumpstarting a private brand
of New Year's Eve party*

well...

maybe sort of.

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity
to wish you all a

!!!!!

MAY EVERYTHING you hope for
in 2012 happen!

HM.

Care to taint those Best Wishes with what my "Here, while I'm at it, let me put a damper on that, too" mother always has to say? Momsy:

"Dream BIG, but NOT too big."
. . . . . .

(If you said Jorge Garcia's thumb playing Hugo "Hurley" Reyes's thumb in the ABC television series Lost, you answered right to "Who's helping to grip the above lotto ticket?" Take anything on the second shelf, little lady/young man,

anything on the second shelf!)

DID YOU KNOW THAT a person's chances at winning a lottery prize worth $12 million are approximately 1 in 34, 475,684,284? (Yes, as do a countless number of Baby Boomery others born into families who would Never--I can't emphasize the capital "N" on that "Never" enough--be owners of "a mighty fine set of almost World Book Encyclopedias, sold door-to-door back in the day by a one-time Fuller Brush Man, who, for some secret reason, "changed lanes mid-stream," (Maybe you remember him? He was the rabidly gum-chewing, shiny odd blue-suited guy, who would forget to remove his hat (My Aunt Myrtle excused him, saying something like, "Most traveling men in retail are bald and feel quite shamely about it."), then ask for a glass of water, even though it seem as if there was "something more" he actually wanted from my obviously flattered and compliant aunt.

NOW WHERE WAS I again? Oh, yeah--> As do a countless number of other people born into families who would never be owners of "a mighty fine set of almost (Or even the "real deal" kind, because wouldn't that have been great?! I pee a little just thinking about it!) World Book Encyclopedias" during the early 60s (<--But that didn't stop me from for perpetually longing for one, because I still do. You should see how I salivate over long rows of BIG red books at some used books sales.), proudly and masterfully I do google nearly every passing thought that pops into my grey matter. Maybe to somehow fill the hole in my encyclopedia-less life? I dunno. But probably the real reason I "search" so much, is because, in doing so, I am always--and I do mean always--reminded of Jiminy Cricket, which is hardly what I'd call a bad thing, would you? Ah, sweet memories... Aunt Mert was forever grateful that "Knuckle Walt" (She always called Mr. Disney that in order to kindly appease a little-girl me, who wished Mickey Mouse's dad was a member of our family. (Sometimes, I would even go as far as to tell the entire playground that he actually was my dad. Who was never at home. Because... Because... Because HE WAS A TRAVELING SALESMAN! Yeah, that's it! A traveling salesman!

Tommy "Yeah, that's the ticket!"Flanagan
as my father is more like it, huh?
Such pathological liar-y cuteness-genes I did inherit, eh?!)

*oh-sighs* It would have been beyond incredible to have been able to, just once, tell the other kids that Walt Disney shared in our Thanksgiving Day spread!) had not used the hairless but hatted, blue World Book pusher as his model for

the knowledgeable, insecty
befriender of pointy-faced wooden kids,
he invented.

"What a cripes-almighty mistake that would have been!" Mert opinioned, as we watched the Encyclodedia salesman head to our neighbor's house, dragging his wares behind him in a leashed suitcase. He looked thirsty again, but I don't think for water. As I recall, he never did drink the glass-full Myrtle had set on a hand-crocheted coaster on the end table next to him.)

I'M BACK. Did you further know the odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 2,000,000? (Yes, wise guy, I did google twice. And, as a matter of fact--AND for the record, Mr. Ripley--it was in rapid succession, because I am that good!) Yep, you have a better chance of being hit by lightning than winning the lottery.

So, you figure it out.
No?
Then allow me:

("You do realize, of course, if this thing does ring...we're all dead,"
advised a strapless and blinged SparkleFarkle, center. )

Get yourself some TALL friends. If lightening strikes, they'll get hit first.

*switches to the "good stuff"*

SPARKLEFARKLE'S
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION:

I will NOT become my mother.

AND ON THAT uplifty note, again with the Happy New Year! --AND one more for the road: please do sing with me this final Christmas carol of the season (Because I love it (<--the time of the year and the song-->) so!):

"Fairytale of New York"
Songwriters: JEREMY FINER, SHANE MACGOWAN

Sung by The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl

. . . . . . .

Dare to dream BIG-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, ZuZu, Kirsty MacColl and Tarzan's sidekick, Cheetah.