I Know I Am, But What Are You?

(Yes, it's the SparkleFarkled early edition, because, heck and probably, birds have already gotten their fair share of the "you know what." Am I right, or am I right? LOL!)Back row: Aspiring actress, Chairy. Front row: Cowboy Curtis (left), always a little too familiar with the girls on the set --even the over-stuffed ones-- and Pee Wee Herman (right), both sitting pretty! (Pee Wee’s Playhouse, 1986-1991)

Succinctly Yours ! (<-- cLicKy-cLiCky!) What a lovely and wonderfully perfect name for a meme that picks up where our dearly departed microfiction Monday left off!

Thank you,

Grandma at Grandma’s Goulash,

our hostess with the mostest, who, starting today (Actually, 28 March. I've got this thing about worms, remember?), asks the every-Monday burning question:

How low can you go?

(THE GIST: Use the photo provided by GG as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words. Oh?! *nods an impressed head* You want an even BIGGER challenge? Then incorporate the word of the week into your flash tale! This Monday's assignment is "cater," that of which I chose to pass on, since that part of the game is optional. Whew!)

HERE IS March 28th's picture AND My Story:

"She doesn't call, she doesn't write..." sighed Rusty, who was certain his sister, Chairy, would remember him when she got to Hollywood. –136 characters

. . . . . . .

TWO WORDS aimed directly at Grandma’s Goulash for

saving us from a life without good-natured pandemonium, namely, micro-fiction fun: Bless you! It's good to be back in the microfictiony saddle againly, SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, Zu Zu, Captain Carl (Phil Hartman), Elizabeth Taylor, and Geraldine Ferraro.

*channels Whitney Houston* Bobby! Bobby! My blog-spacing is whack!

Espresso Yourself... Espresso Yourself....Come On and Do It

Coffee Talk’s Linda Richman (SNL)

“I HOPE IF dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

I JUST GOT back from a routine visit to the vet (for my cat, that is, not me), where I read the following notice hanging above the complimentary coffee:

“Unattended children will be given
an espresso and a free puppy.”

TWO WORDS:

Oy vey!

Wagging more and barking less, because what the world needs now is love, sweet love, so it couldn’t hurt, now could it?-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

P.S. Have you met Denver yet?
She's

The Guiltiest Dog on the Web!

Rest in peace, my Mollo, Zu Zu, and Dame Elizabeth Taylor.

Lest We Forget: My Elizabeth Taylor Tribute Continues

POSSIBLY MY MOST favourite performance by Elizabeth Taylor was when she lent her vocal talents to The Simpsons, ever so sweetly speaking Maggie’s first words, which turned out to be just one: “Daddy”! (Miss Taylor reportedly had to record it twenty-four times before Homer finally approved it for airing!)

“Lisa’s First Word,"

The Simpsons,

Season 10, Episode 4
. . . . . . .

Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor
27 February 1932 – 23 March 2011

Rest peacefully, dearest Elizabeth.

Image Credit:
Elizabeth/Maggie split-screen: totalfilm.com

She Liked Being Called Elizabeth, Not Liz

"I FEEL very adventurous. There are so many doors to be opened, and I am not afraid to look behind them." --Elizabeth Taylor

Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor
27 February 1932 – 23 March 2011

Rest in Peace.

NOT ONLY BECAUSE she was astonishingly beautiful both inside and out, I will remember Elizabeth Taylor for being fun and funny, for her wise and generous heart (spokeswoman for several causes, most notably AIDS), and for being such an amazing inspiration: she never faced the day without perfume; she dressed to be noticed; and she believed you can be close to God anywhere.

AND NOT TO mention those eyes, those incredible violet eyes...!

Elizabeth Taylor guesting on What's My Line?

It’s a Wonderful Life! And If Not, PRETEND, Damn it!

”LIKE JEWELS in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen’s round metal hat.” –Jack Handey

HAPPY
Today’s Dose of Jack Handey!
(Handeysms: not just for Fridays anymore.)

EVERY MORNING that I can, I start my day with the SparkleFarkle Star-Spangled Anthem: Sondre Lerche’s “Dear Laughing Doubters,” where I listen to it, here, playing with twinkle-twinkles falling down from the virtual sky on my bloground. Hopefully, I’ve timed this write

juuust right (<– Get it? Baby Bear’s porridge!)

for the Ready, Set, Go!- to begin NOW--> ONE WORD:
Sing-a-long!

What a morning
Made to order
What a rainbow
We'll go there someday

See that blue sky
Knows no limits
That's why the clouds stay away

It's so easy predicting the way
People shrug in surprise
When they hear what I say

Hear laughing doubters
I'm laughing louder
I don't really care

There's a song in my ear
I've been hearing for years
Somehow it always appears

(whistling)

What a way to
Spend the day you
Can't turn a corner
Without making friends

Every second
Life gets better
I don't know where it will end

It's so easy to know what they'll say
When i walk through the streets almost every day
Dear laughing doubters
I'm laughing louder
I don't really care

There's a song in my ear
I've been hearing for years
Somehow it always appears

Dear laughing doubters
I'm laughing louder
Why should I care

There's a song in my ear
I've been hearing for years
Somehow it always appears

(whistling)

*breathes a happy, little sigh*
THERE’S NOTHING quite like
an amazing daily jumpstart, wouldn’t you agree?

Thank you for letting Sondre and me put this jewel in your round metal hat-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.

Image Credits :
Queen Mouse: originally downloaded at You Thought We Wouldn't Notice
Roller Coaster Riders: Dinner for Schmucks movie art

Cat and Pig Tales

Barbie not seeming to dig the Clampetty gig

“NORMALLY, I'M NOT ONE to believe in little green men from Mars. But one night, as I was driving home from a party, I caught something in my headlights I still can't explain. It had weird, catlike eyes and only stood about a foot tall. It was covered with grayish fur, and walked on all fours, like a cat. It had a tail, which if I had to describe in terms of something here on Earth was, in a way, like a cat's. Also, it was carrying a ray gun in its mouth. It was either a ray gun or a mouse.” –Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

IF I GO TO SLEEP with the electric blanket setting-knob arrow pointed at “Dangerously Waaay Too High,” I can always count on waking up in the middle of the night from a near nightmare, that of which has been induced by the self-inflicted, wavy-line heat every time –-but, on the dream’s plus side, comes with a thought-provoking revelation, which causes pearly wisdom words to spew out loud from me as I am snapping out of it.

AND, yes, my plugged-in cover was at full-throttle last night, so, do you want to know what I had to said upon waking? I thought so!

SEVEN WORDS:
Grown-ups with pigtails
should not be happening.
. . . . . . .

FROM THE DESK of SparkleFarkle
TO Donna Douglas:

NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 30: Dustin Ebsen, son of Buddy Ebsen (Jed Clampett, The Beverly Hillbillies), unsuccessfully attempts to bring his “sister,” (Elly May), to her hair-senses, following the memorial service for their father at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Auditorium, August 30, 2003. Actor Buddy Ebsen died July 6 at 95. (Photo credit: Life)

Stop the madness!!!
(And let it begin with you retiring your scrunchies.)

WELL NOW IT'S time to say good-bye to Sparkle and all her kin.
And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.
You're all invited back again to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of their hospitality.

Farklebilly that is. Set a spell.
Take your shoes off.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
SF~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zu Zu.

Happy Irish Eyes are Smiling Day!

"As you perch yourself
on the same old stairs,
may yesterday's woes
be today's love affairs."
--Irish Blessing: Kim Levin and John O'Neill--

THREE WORDS:
Erin go bark!

Forever kissing the Blarney Stone,
SparkleMcFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

No Laughing Matter

TWO WORDS:

Professional Idiot!

(Click on "Professional Idiot," above, for the crap details.)

Please pray as hard as you can for Japan, and often.

Be Stiller My Heart

“SOMETIMES THE BEAUTY of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw my head back and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don’t care who hears me, because I’m beautiful.” –Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY
on the following Monday,
because what was I waiting for?!

As featured guest on the November 10, 2007 episode of German entertainment television series Wetten, Dass..? (Wanna Bet That...?), Celine (<--a name meaning "heavenly") Dion went good on her bet by gargling “My Heart Will Go On,” with a mouthful of water.

THE WAY I see it, there are few things in life that you can’t find some beauty in, even if it’s just a speck.(<-- I mean, really, isn’t that the way you’re suppose to have your eyes open? Uh-huh, I think so. I'm sure it's a Golden Ruley thing. I remember it being stressed in Catholic school, when I was just a smitch.) Celine Dion does not happen to be one of them, because I love you, Celine! You are beautiful! But GARGOYLES ARE NOT. Even though they are intricately carved and executed, intended to ward off bad consequences, and are merely drainage pipes,

I DON’T LIKE CREEPY THEM.
They scare me, and for good reason:
because they do!

Certain cats do, too.

(comedian and one-time Notre Dame de Paris model)

So does Jerry Stiller!?

In closing,
THREE WORDS:


I couldn’t resist!

Luv ya,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

Oscar Gone Wilde!

Calling all microfictionados!
Welcome to another fun-loving chapter of

microfiction Monday,
(very early edition)

sponsored by our hostess with the mostess Miss Susan at Stony River, where the good-natured pandemonium is all about a picture painting 140 characters or even fewer! (For more flash tale fun, click the side-barring mM button-->)

Here’s
THIS WEEK’S IMAGE
and
MY STORY:

After finally freeze-framing that picture thang of his, Dorian changed his name to

Tom Cruise

and moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. Swimmin’ pools, movies stars. –161 characters

YIKES!
I’m 21 characters over the microfiction limit!
That’s crazy! NO, WAIT.


This is crazy!!!
. . . . . . .

THE THEME SONG from The Beverly Hillbillies show is going to be playing in your head for the rest of the day, isn’t it? (Either that or you won't rest until you can get your hands on a copy of Tropic Thunder!)

You’re welcome!

SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

MMIAI

Antidote

“I’D LIKE to see a movie where the guy is going to die when the sand runs out of the hourglass, but then at the last minute an ant stops the sand from running out. Then the rest of the movie is about the ant.” –Jack Handey

HAPPY

Jack Handey

FRIDAY!

I WANT TO preface what I’m about to say with

SIX WORDS:
I am not a wet blanket.

And just for the record: I have never been Charlie Sheen’s biggest fan. Ever since the first time I got wind of him (his role as the boy in the police station in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, 1986), I could take him or leave him. Mostly, LEAVE HIM. Guys like Mr. Sheen just get on my nerves, is all.

NOW HERE goes: I don’t agree with this Charlie Sheen "stuff." Specifically, networks fighting over who can really aid him in his downfall. I think it’s immoral. Yes, again with the “I am not a wet a wet blanket,” because Charlie Sheen is sick, and very. Seriously, before you laugh at the Sheeny “entertainment” the media and everybody and their brother is handing you, try to remember that. It’s not going to end well for Charlie Sheen. Instead of this continuous pour of gasoline on the fire he’s set for himself, what he could really use right about now (if not sooner) is

an "ant."

I’m just saying-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~ *

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.

MMIAI

P.S. If portions of this rant sound familiar to you, that’s because you may have heard Mika Brzezinski (co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe) spouting much of the same, last Tuesday AM on her show. Prior to her going on the air, we talked over coffee, as we typically do on Tuesdays, after which she asked me if she could make my words her words, knowing she’d probably have to talk Sheen “stuff” on the program. So, there you have it, and yet another SparkleFarkle secret’s out: Mika Brzezinski is my wee Tuesday morning hobnob! But we don’t do donuts, just the coffee. We rather like to think we put the “Joe” in Morning Joe!

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Popsicles!

I JUST HAD a Popsicle®. Orange. It was as great as ever! Did you know at the end there's a riddle waiting for you on the stick? You're going to like this, because here's mine:

QUESTION: What do road crews use at the North Pole?

ANSWER (TWO WORDS): Snow Cones!

NOW this is exactly the kind of job I've been looking for all my life: writing jokes for skinny tongue depressors sporting tasty, coloured ice that takes me down my own private Memory Lane every time I eat one!

I wish they's bring back Twin Popsicles®ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, ZuZu, and Twin Popsicles®.

What If God Was One of Us?

A WONDERFUL BLOG friend of mine, who never ceases to amaze me with her ever-flowing, down-to-your-socks-then-out-your-your-toes deeply inspirational words, those of which she writes “quietly,” because the unfortunate roller coaster ride that was decided for her dictates that’s the way it has to be, shared with me this incredible “incredible” from another pal of hers. I hope she doesn’t mind if I allow it to touch you, too. (BY THE BY: This true story will definitely call for a box of Kleenex, so before you hunker down for a read, better grab one, and I DON'T MEAN MAYBE.)

"We don't know who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US Postal Service.

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to Heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in Heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to Heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, When a Pet Dies. Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in Heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God

Don't say you're too busy to forward this. Just go ahead and do it."

EIGHT WORDS:
I was right about the Kleenex,
wasn’t I?

Don’t forget to hug your dog and mailmanly yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, Zuzie, and Abbey.