I Beg Your Parton?

Well, hello,

Dolly!

TWO WORDS:
Happy Halloween!

Wax lipsly yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.

Fangs for the Advice, Boys!

Dracula's dental floss

WELCOME TO the happily-hosted-by-Grandma’s-Goulash Succinctly Yours, a perfectly wonderful meme that picks up where our dearly departed Microfiction Monday left off by asking the burning question:

Vampire teeth candies!
"Gummi or Gummy?" <--Maybe that should be the question.

How low can you go?

THE GIST: Use the photo provided by GG as inspiration for a story of 140 characters or 140 words. (It doesn’t have to be exactly 140, just not more.) Oh?! *nods an impressed head* You want an even BIGGER challenge?! Then incorporate the word of the week into your flash tale! This Monday's assignment is "eerie," which I chose to skip since that smitch of the game is optional. <-–Whew! and thank God, because I don't need that kind o' presha!

HERE’S
October 31st’s picture
AND my story:

IN UNISON identical twins (even though the eldest is waaay thinner and inexplicably taller) and October 2011 Peridontal Disease Poster Boys, Tar and Tar, whose names are also same-y, stauchly warn Trick or Treaters around the globe: “Gingivitis never takes a holiday.” --41 words

ELEVEN more WORDS to the wise:
If you're going to string someone along,
let it be you!

Gonna go sink my teeth into some Hallowe'en yums-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

A Little Birdie Told Me

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

"IS THERE ANYTHING more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk." --Jack Handey

TWO WORDS:
HaPpY BiRtHdAy!

SparkleFarkle: BECAUSE by the way...
Blog reader-pal: What?
SparkleFarkle: Have you heard?
Blog reader-pal: Heard what?
SparkleFarkle: You haven't heard?!?
Blog reader-pal: Heard what?
SparkleFarkle: Oh, man, I can't believe you haven't heard!
Blog reader-pal: Heard WHAT?
SparkleFarkle: About the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody's talking about the bird!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird...
That the
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word:

HAVE A "Beautiful, Beautiful Flamingo Flying Across in Front of a Beautiful Sunset, Carrying a Beautiful Rose in His Beak, and Also He's Carrying a Very Beautiful Painting with His Feet" Day, RottieGirl, she who wasn't born yesterday, ya know, but, ago, tomorrow!

Best Birthday wishes ever to you--ahead of time
(Saturday, October 29th being the official special day!)--
Miss Rottie!

Celebrately yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.

IMAGE CREDITS:
Garlanded Party Bird = Alex-Around the World
Flamingo graphics = Life Without Novacaine

Poultry in Motion,

because if you look way blog-below and closely, you'll see that poor Shirl-girl had the Parmesan Chicken for lunch.

Confused? READ ON.

(No, not here, further down. This is a chicken dancing. Poultry in motion, get it? Shirley's featured in the second to the last picture.)

WELCOME TO the happily-hosted-by-Grandma’s-Goulash Succinctly Yours, a perfectly wonderful meme that picks up where our dearly departed Microfiction Monday left off by asking the burning question:

How low can you go?

THE GIST: Use the photo provided by GG as inspiration for a story of 140 characters or 140 words. (It doesn’t have to be exactly 140, just not more.) Oh?! *nods an impressed head* You want an even BIGGER challenge?! Then incorporate the word of the week into your flash tale! This Monday's assignment is "ambivalent," which I chose to skip since that smitch of the game is optional. <-–Whew! and thank God, because I don't need that kind o' presha!)

HERE’S
October 24th’s picture
AND my story:

"Boat rides always do a number on my stomach," BIG-urped Shirley, whose husband, 'Frank,' muffled-chuckling from the lido deck, had inexplicably insisted they take a cruise. --26 words

NOW

picture this:

IF IN REALITY Frank is a disguised Santy Claus on vacation, laughing at his poor wife, and you are within earshot, what you'd be hearing would actually be referred to as a

THREE WORDS:
Heave-Ho! Ho! Ho!

Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night-ly!
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

P.S. Come on,
you just gotta love me, don't cha?!
Just a wittle bit??

Rest in peace, my Mollo and ZuZu.

Right When Eye Thought Eyed Seen Everything

“A GOOD WAY to keep a mob of peasants from killing your monster is when they break into your castle, make them be real quiet, then open a door and there's the monster, sound asleep.” –Jack Handey

HAPPY
ahead of time
Jack Handey
FRIDAY
and,

NO KIDDING,

a Halloween trick it's NOT!

AS IT TURNS out, this to-a-lesser-degree

Simpson-esque creepy creature (<–That is to say, two eyeballs short of a “normal” fish residing in Springfield, Cartoonland, USA.) is an albino fetal shark with a Cyclopsy, single-functioning eye smack dab in the middle of its nose, that was sliced from the belly of a pregnant mama (<--Now that’s got a nice Halloween-gruesome ring to it, dudn’t it?!) dusky shark, netted by an unsuspecting Gulf of California fisherman, whom upon making the discovery, was "amazed and fascinated," which is a nice way of saying he peed his pants, earlier this year. Yep, by all reports (<--National Geographic says so. And, dog gone it, who doesn’t trust those guys?) it’s the real thing!

EIGHT WORDS:

. . . . . . .

Hm.
ARE YOU THINKING what I’m thinking?

Like

this could be what happens
the next time you

crack open a tube of Pillsbury?!
Yeah, EXACTLY: I'M SCARED, TOO!

*SparkleFarkled brain fills with all-things-Jagger music, and, then, spontaneously begins to sing*

No, you can't always get what you wah-ant
You can't always get what you wah-ant
You can't always get what you wah-ant
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you nee-eed...
Say like...
Oh, I don’t know...
an albino fetal shark with a Cyclopsy, single-functioning eye smack dab in the middle of its nose, that was sliced from the belly of a pregnant mama dusky shark!?!?

*feels a perfect-for-the-sign-off "Sheb Wooley" coming on, and croons it*

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One eye?)

See ya!
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*
Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

Image credits:
Clyclops fish fotos: Yahoo News
Pillsbury bun pictures: Sorry! Still retracing my footsteps for the source.

Actually, NOT Jumping the Shark

Steven Spielberg sitting on the mechanical shark from Jaws, 1973
(Image credit: Louis Goldman/AMPAS)

WELCOME TO the happily-hosted-by-Grandma’s-Goulash Succinctly Yours, a perfectly wonderful meme that picks up where our dearly departed Microfiction Monday left off by asking the burning question:

How low can you go?

THE GIST: Use the photo provided by GG as inspiration for a story of 140 characters or 140 words. (It doesn’t have to be exactly 140, just not more.) Oh?! *nods an impressed head* You want an even BIGGER challenge? Then incorporate the word of the week into your flash tale! This Monday's assignment is "toil," which I chose to skip since that smitch of the game is optional. <–Whew! and thank God, because I don't need that kind o' presha!)

HERE’S
October 17th’s picture
AND my story:

“AND WHEN THEY hear the giant, man-eating, mechanical great white shark coming, they’ll stampede out of the water!” out-loud imagined a young and aspiring horror-thriller movie director, Stevie Spielberg, acting out one of his favourite scenes from a film he’d someday make, based on a school composition of the same name written by his buddy, Petey Benchley, which would later triple the tourist population of Martha’s Vineyard and be declared the father of the summer blockbuster, thus ensuring that Jaws would never go hungry, and neither would he. --91 words

FIVE WORDS:

dan dum, dan dum, dandumdandumdandumtututuuuudan-
dumdandumdandum...

YESSIREEBOB, Spielberg’s Jaws to this day scares the living daylights out of me! Ever since first seeing it (1975) from behind my trembly, knitted fingers hiding a fearful me (or via the lacy and buttered view you get when you watch a movie though the “head” of your bucket of uneaten popcorn, because you're too afraid to chew, let alone swallow, but mainly because the shark won't think to look for you there!), I might look at the ocean, but I will nevah evah go in it; I no longer do lakes; and I much prefer a shower over a tub bath. Thank you Mr. S., and I mean that from the bottom of my goosebumpled, mega-thumping little heart!

There you have it-ly,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie. And, rest in pieces,

Sam Quint.

P.S. Regarding Mr. Quint, above: Seriously, you've got to know that I'm not routinely gruesome. It's just that it's Halloweenytide, so I say, "Why not make 'macabre hay while the sun shines'"?! (<--SparkleFarklespeak so easily jumbles the mind. Sorry 'bout that!)

"I'd Rather Light Than Switch," Joked Jesus

Hm. Probably behind the orange one?

"WHEN GARY TOLD ME he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different." --Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!
. . . . . . .

God was none too happy with funny-in-His-own-mind prankster J.C., the day He decided to redefine the title, "Light of the World." Whoa, Jesus, whoa!

YEP.
I'm afraid so.
You've just witnessed yet another reason
I'll likely be going to Hell...

ONE WORD:

handbasket.

Great weekend be yours!
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

Stick Schtick

"A 1920s advertisement for Bobs Candy Company features Anna Louise McCormack, the daughter of company cofounder Bob McCormack. The company was founded in 1919 as the Famous Candy Company by McCormack, Bob Mills, and several other investors. McCormack and Mills later bought out the other investors and in 1924 renamed the company, known today as Bobs Candies." Image and explanation courtesy of The New Georgia Encyclopedia and Farley's and Sather Candy Compay, Inc.

WELCOME TO the happily-hosted-by-Grandma’s-Goulash Succinctly Yours, a perfectly wonderful meme that picks up where our dearly departed Microfiction Monday left off by asking the burning question:

How low can you go?

The Candy Stripers (Bobs Red-Stripe Painter Brigade, from left to right: T. Albrecht, V. Dooley, Department Head S. Flagler, B. Kasmiski, and K. Johnston.

THE GIST: Use the photo provided by GG as inspiration for a story of 140 characters or 140 words. (It doesn’t have to be exactly 140, just not more.) Oh?! *nods an impressed head* You want an even BIGGER challenge?! Then incorporate the word of the week into your flash tale! This Monday's assignment is "resplendid," which I chose to skip since that smitch of the game is optional. <–Whew! and thank God, because I don't need that kind o' presha!)

HERE’S
October 10th’s picture
AND
my story:

Quicker than Famous Candy Company's Head Red-Stripe Painter Shirl Flagler could say, "Peppermint stick!", and right under her nose during shift change, least-likely-to-be-suspected Edna Bledsoe, in the guise of a sweet treat factory tourist, literally walked Candy out the front door. --41 words

THREE more WORDS:

The Great Escape!

Making a break for it,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

You Say Tomato and I Say They're Burried in the Backyard

Yay! YAy! YAY!
It's Happy Halloweentidey
Handeyism Twofer Time!

QUOTE NUMBER
1: "IF THERE WAS A BIG gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get booed right off the stage. They're just not ready." --Jack Handey

And then there's Maude this:

QUOTE NUMBER 2: "WHENEVER YOU SEE A BUNCH of Italian guys talking Italian, just go up to them and start talking fake Italian. They may not understand you exactly, but at least everyone will get a nice warm 'Italian' feeling." --Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY! on a Wednesday,
because, quite frankly,
I CAN'T WAIT!

WIDE-OPEN YOUR TRICK or treat bag, I've got a leetle something extra-special for you, fresh from the SparkleFarkled "candy" bowl:

AN OLD ITALIAN MAN lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over... I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Pop,

Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,
Vinnie

SIX WORDS:
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Joke!?

Pip, pip, cheerio, and

all that rot!
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, Zuzie, and

those of you buried in garden plots everywhere!

Scare't Much? Here, I Can Fix That

DURING THIS holly halig, jolly, spookified season, I've decided to treat you to the some of the little scaries I encounter on any one of the given days-until-All-Hallows-Even! (Please know that I am only thinking of you by NOT posting them all, lest their weirdness push you completely over the BOO-edge!) Hang on to your pointy hat, then, because

HERE GOES:

(OBVIOUSLY, one way or another, Jeff was able to snag some fans.)

TWO WORDS:
You're welcome.

By hook or by crookily yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.

Woolly Bullying?

WE FOUND A Woolly Bear Caterpillar yesterday! I love those guys! According to legend, the wider that middle brown section is, the milder winter will be. Conversely, a narrow brown band (<--sometimes, nearly non-existent) is said to predict a harsh winter.

WE PUT IT in an grassed-up, vertical-twigged empty milk bottle and, hopefully, the little warm fuzzy will turn into

a tiger moth,
come spring!

AND YAY! It's Hallowe'entime! Tell me something you think is really scary. And, please, make it

YIKES!worthy.

HERE'S MINE:

"It literally scared me!" --Klee Irwin, describing the awe
he experienced at the sight of his daughter's bowel movement.

The Dual Action Colon Cleanse infomercial spokesman and product developer, Klee Irwin (!?!?)

TWO WORDS: Caterpillar facial hair!

SIX more WORDS: White trash Rocky Horror Picture Show!?

TEN WORDS morer:
It looks like we're in for a long, hard winter.

Got to go (<--but NOT that kind),
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*
Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.