An Absent-Minded Meow Mix-Up

Toonces the Driving Cat, a seasoned behind-the-wheeler, who knows enough to go out for forgotten provisions, even in a blinding Storm of the Century, and is also a Jack Handey invention, so how fitting is that?!

"WHAT STARTED OUT to be a nice pleasant drive in the country turned into the 'Afternoon from Hell.' First of all, when Marta and I were leaving, the cats looked at us like, 'Where are you going?' Then, when we were driving, we had to stop and get gas. So right there that's time taken away from looking at the scenery. Then, when we get home, guess what the cats are doing? Sleeping! Man, what next?" --Jack Handey

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

And Yay! Yay! Yay!
It finally snowed (<--yesterday,
and still is! I'm excitey!!!)
and I want to shout it
from the rooftops!

BUT I CAN'T because there is so much more of the white fluff-stuff than the weatherman thought'd there'd be. But, if I was lucky enough to have Handey <--An easy mistake to make since it is Jack Handey Friday and all. Forgive and forget? Great! You're the biggest, bestest typo-pardoning peach ever! I'm getting carried away again, aren't I? Thank God, you are so forgiving. Now where was I? Oh yeah. I'd like to scream a MAJOR "Halelujah!" with me uptop my house, megaphone-voicing just that, but since the snow is yea high *TALL-hands gestures* I'd have to have handy a

(I loved Little House on the Prairie, especially Michael Landon's portrayal of Charles Ingalls! P.S. Because of all the snow, the cow-anchored safety line is indistigiuishable here.)

Pa Ingalls rope (<--Dakota Territory, or was it TVed-Walnut Grove? I can't quite remember.). Yep, the kind like he tied to a big calf in the barn, then tied around his waist afterwhich he used it to pull himself back to their

poorly insulated claims shanty's second story window, where it taut-trailed into, then down the loft ladder it went to the kitchen, because that's where it was knotted to Caroline at the Blazing Hearth in the first place, but he'd only allow himself to grip-and-schlep (<--Sounds German, dudn't it?) after

You can do it! Go, Charles, go!

he was done with chores during a howling blizzard. Except mine would be tied to the old TV antenna on my roof instead of an unsuspecting, over-sized baby cow, and would end up attached to my front door nob and not Ma, because man, did we get a lot of snow or what?! I'd say "or what," because, like I said in my Jack Handey salutation, it's still falling!

AND EVEN THOUGH a preparey me headed to the store, early yesterday morning, to pick up the "necessaries" (Cameo cookies, movie rentals, more of my favourite blend of Campbell's Mmm Mmm Good, and more hot cocoa fixings), so I could really enjoy my rest of the day and last night as a shut-in, I made one near-fatal mistake. Do you see "cat food" anywhere between those previous parentheses? No. No, you don't. Needless to say, to several "people" around here (Five, to be exact.), I was

TWO WORDS:
extremely unpopular

THE GOOD NEWS: we survived, and so did Heather Locklear. Oh? You haven't heard? You'd better Google, then, my friend. And, along with learning a valuable kitty-care lesson, I am able to share with you what I discovered my cats will and will not eat in a snow emergency. First,

THE WILL NOTS:
1. Dry Cheerios. (I thought for sure they'd go for it.)
2. Cheerios with milk. (Yeah, I thought this one would end up to be the no-brainer, but, alas, the fur gang proved me wrong.)
3. Play-Doh molded into little fish and drumstick shapes. (Here's the deal on that: they only looked like "chatte" snacks. In Noddy's case, it was "chat," since he's the male of the pack. But because there was no fooling any of them and none of them are French, it doesn't much matter now, does it?)
4. Campbell's soup (Why everyone's sooo afraid of barley, I'll never know.)
5. FYI: NO. I didn't offer even

one single, solitary Cameo.

For one thing, KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF OF 'EM, THEY'RE MINE! And for another thing, it's 5:00PM and this is NOT a restaurant, d*** it! For all I care, you can starve!

THE WILLS:

1. Cheerios gravied with the leftover Pizza Hut breadsticks' marinara sauce. (Can you believe it?! Me neither.)
2. Orange Jello?! (<--Go figure on that one, too.)

Because I've got nothing else for ya, see you later, then? Okay!
Have yourself a great snow day!

Cookies and milk for lunch again!-ly yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, ZuZu, and

"Little Joe" Cartwright.

CREDITS:
Add Snow Effect to Image = Lunapic.com
Plural winter Pa Ingalls = Learn Sweden
"Home, Sweet,..." sign = Our Family Farm