Now Entering James Woods? I Beg to Differ

DISTRAUGHT AFTER having lost her cat Tippy, who she sometimes calls Spike, Elle Woods is unable to eat --not even a sandwich, that of which she sometimes calls "Tippy," but only when they'd misplaced themselves during a forest walk.

WAIT a minute.
That doesn't seem quite right.
Bear with me,
I'm going to give it another "go":

Elle,

who got lost in the woods and was afraid that eventually she might have to eat Tippy, did. Eventually, she finds her way home --a new "home," that is. Arrested for being an unregistered Animagus, in this case, due to a food allergy, the authorities throw her in The Icebox (solitary confinement), a form of imprisonment most "sandwiches" (illegals) see as anything less than torture.

Nah. I'm pretty sure that's not it at all.
Can I take another stab?
GREAT! You're

Da Peach!

James Woods walking his dog possibly named Tippy, who is NOT a sandwich.

*manically shakes
a bejumbled head and snaps out of it*

W-WAIT UP!
I think I'm finally there:

Jim and his new puppy, who remains nameless, are on their way to a forest-screening of a

(Image credit: TVCrazy.net)
Lost
revival, afterwhich
sandwiches will be served.
James will order a "T!pPy" (a

Dagwood-type concoction

whose between-the-bread-slices layers are lettuce-nested, mayo-ed Corvus tenders, named such because it's structure lends itself for being just that, but, mostly, to honor Miss Tippi Hedren in her role as "Melanie" in

Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds).

But Mr. Woods will take it home and
refrigerate it for later, as he doesn't like to

"eat crow"
in public.

"WHAT DOES THIS all mean?," you're probably asking yourself, since, after posting this blog entry, I have flown the coop to go consume some leftover Pizza Hut from last night's feedbag, so, I am no longer here for you to address me directly with your concerns. But, YAY! for you, because a forever thoughtful me

spilled the beans
just for you before taking off!

FOUR WORDS:

HAPPY
Jack Handey
FRIDAY!

"ONCE, WHEN I GOT lost in the woods, I was afraid that eventually I might have to eat Tippy. But finally I found my way home, and I was able to put Tippy back in the refrigerator with my other sandwiches." --Jack Handey, Fuzzy Memories

HEY, BEFORE you high-tail it out of here,
have I got a treat for you!

*opens Frigidaire to retrieve a "Have you seen this yet?" goodie, kept in the Humidity-Controlled Crisper for safekeeping AND freshness, because why not? That's what it's there for, right?*

NOT TO WORRY. I promise it's not a sandwich named Tippy, or my favourite celebrity marrieds, Jimbo and Elle Woods, either. Nope, nope, nope. Instead, wood would you like you to meet a really, really cool poochie? Yeah, I know, who wouldn't?! Then, just cLiCkY-cLiCkY the > below:

. . . . . . .

CORRECTION: I am happy to inform
you that you are NOW "out of the Woods"!

You're lucky I didn't throw Woody Allen (and his his little dog, Soon-Yi "Tippy" aka "Sandwich" Previn) into the mix, too-ly yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo and Zuzie.