Ram On

BEFORE I GET to where I’m really going with this thing today, just for the record, let it be known that when Paul "The Cute One" McCartney decided that reinventing himself was all about strumming a ukulele instead of that Höfner "the Cute One" violin bass of his, it was over for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.(<–Perfect word choice, eh?!) I already know it was given to him by the late, great, cream of the croppy Beatle, George Harrison, known for bringing out

Vintage Martin Ukulele like the ones George collected.

Polynesian borrowings

after dinner at his house,
but that doesn’t seem to matter to me either,
because, as far as I’m concerned,
you DON’T rock a uke.

FIVE WORDS:

You know what I mean?
YEP.
Not only that but,
the same as it is for me when I must witness

"Oom poppa, omm poppa, mow mow!" --The Oak Ridge Boys basso profundo, Richard Sterban, singing the most famous "low" lines any quartet has ever recorded ("Elvira").

deep-deeper-and-deepest bass voices singing,
ukuleles make me embarrassed.
That's me for you.
I’m just saying.

Okay, if I have to, I’ll make one exception:

John Lennon
long ago playing
"While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
on a bite-sizer.

WAIT. Make that two exceptions:


Mama Cass Elliot
singing “Dream a Little Dream,”
which she’s minus her uke in this video clip,
so you’ll have to pretend.
Man, her voice was intoxicating, wasn't it?!

HM. COME TO THINK of it, didn’t Guns N’ Roses performed “Sweet Child o’ Mine" by way of an acoustic ukulele once? All right, THREE. But that’s where I draw the line. And I’m still holding firm: Paul McCartney’s uke-playing is NOT rockin.’

“Arthur Godfreying”
is more like it.

• • • • • • •

ONWARD?
Onward.

PLEASE TELL ME you born on or between March 21th and April 19th, because that makes you an Aries, the same zodiac sign that I was hatched under! Lucky bucks are we, huh?! <--as we are officially have-something-in-commonly! You're ready, then, for our this week’s horror scope horoscope? Then, let’s give it a go (NOTE TO OTHER astrological sign people: Please bear with it as us Ram-types share this spotlighty moment.):

ARIES the Ram
(March 21 - April 19)

YOU ARE RELIEVED to find that, although you’ve left the window open and pages are indeed being torn from the calendar, you’re not actually hurtling through time at a breakneck pace.

Whew! That was close!-ly yours,
SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

Rest in peace, my Mollo, Cass Elliot, Herbert Khaury, Arthur Godrey, George Harrison, John Lennon, and probably my Comment Box, because we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? Uh-huh, it is all up to you.
P.S. I'll give you a

cookie
if you leave me a comment.
Seriously.
I MEAN IT.
Yes, it's humiliating.
And yes,
I didn't want it to have to come down to this.
BUT IT HAS.

IMAGE CREDITS:
Paul and his close personal friend, Höfner, first featured HERE.
"Martin" = American Songwriter
Tulip Tiptoe-er = Cheryl Smith
Miss Aries, who does not play well with fellow Rams
(Incidently, Tiny Tim was born on April 12th, so there you go.),
was pictured HERE intitially.
“Hurtlin’” optic = Polls Boutique
Horoscope "scoop" excerpted out of The Onion.